Bulletproof Dress
Lyrics by Veronica Valenzuela
Music by Adam Pfeffer

People don't think I'm Mexicana
but I don't come from Tijuana
Born and bred in the USA,
'Dago all the way from the South Bay

I came to rock this party right
so dontcha put up a fight
Let the music take you over
and we'll blaze all nite

Now my direction is clear
I've had a couple of beers
a shot of Everclear,
it's feelin' kinda hot in here

Like Lucky Charms I am magically delicious
Watch out
I'll bust yo britches
and then I'll leave you in stitches you bitches

Now just because I called you bitches
doesnt mean that I'm one
But sometimes you have to be a bitch to get the job done
but you dont know what that's like
and so you call me a dyke
Well, call me that again
and Ill show you what a real bitch looks like

Don't make me ugly on you
cuz you wont like what I do
I'll sock your face black n' blue
I'll beat dat ass with my shoe

You know I'm not the type
No, I'm not the type
the first to start a fist fight
But if you push me to far
I might make like Mike and bite,
and save the other ear for another nite,
put it in a doggie bag
give it to my Lab/Great Dane Mix
with some bacon bits,
I know its sick...
but that's how twisted my mind is....

You take a good long look at me
All 5 foot one of me
You think I'm just a wannabe
nonstop-hip-hop-rock-junkie

but I dont play it like that
because my lyrics are phat
you wanna step up to me
Boy, I'll lay you out flat

You wanna know about me
the only female emcee
No I ain't Pamela Lee
and I refuse to be

My tits are real
here you can feel
I'm made of steel
but you better learn how to deal
with my sex appeal

WELL

Ain't Miss America, right?
That's cuz I'm brown,
I ain't white
dont fit the stereotype
of all the glamour hype
Its true I must confess
the key to my success
the thrill I get
Walkin' around in my bulletproof dress...

In my bulletproof dress...

Crack me like I'm made outta plaster
well you can't you bastard
We're gonna see who becomes
the victim of my lyrical disaster

Betcha I can break you down faster
that a Kung-fu fighter
who challenges the Master
Snatch the pebble from my hand, bitch
best you not flich
better pay attention
dontcha blink or twitch

I'm the woman with the plan
with the mike in my hand
I don't need a man
to tell me how to take a stand

You think I'm MENTAL?
I'm EXISTENTIAL
EXPERIMENTAL
most of all I'm SOFT AND GENTLE
like a lady should be

Yo I'm the V double V
and you can take it from me
what I do comes very naturally
I got
big hopes, big dreams
I'm bustin at the seams
and I cant tell you
what this all means to me
But I think I say it best
you better not fuck around with me
while I'm in my bulletproof dress...

In my bulletproof dress...

You know its all about the kevlar dress
No it aint my Sunday best
Gives me the strength that I need to surpass the rest
Well you know I aint a big star
or a supermodel

But most you bitches on Baywatch
I'd love to throttle
now dont get startled
I'm not gonna hit you
with this bottle
Cuz it'd be a waste of time
and a waste of alcohol

You know I aint fat
You know I aint skinny
lemme tell you I can
sure bust the back
out of a micro-mini
You dig me?

I'm just an everyday girl
In an everyday world
with an everyday job
Sometimes I look like a slob
But I dont give a fuck

beacuse I have the luck
I have the strength within
comfortable in my own skin
cuz I aint listenin'

To what's out
To what's in
To who's hot
and who's not
To who's bad
and who's worse
To who's blessed
and who's cursed

I'm here to represent
the ladies of Latin descent
Throw yor fist up!
Keep your head up!

In my bulletproof dress....